I went back and forth on writing this. I purposely omitted it from the blog last week. But it’s something that I think about and I feel like I’m hiding if I don’t write about it.
On Tuesday during orientation, as we stood there and listened to the principal tell Dawson’s story, I stood there crying. And you know what I was thinking? That I wished I was one of the other parents listening to the story. Because then I could be the one thinking “That poor family. I don’t know what I’d do if that was my child. I’m so thankful it’s not us.” It’s that last part that gets me – that small feeling of relief that it’s not you.
And I just want to say – it’s ok to feel that way. I get it. It’s a natural reaction. Being thankful for what you have. I’ve been there, too. Because with the pity party that I’ve been having the last few days…weeks…months, I have also been reminded of what I DO have. TWO boys. Brothers. Best friends. A Dawson that is A Little Different. And a Wesley that doesn’t bat an eye when he sees Dawson’s legs or back. Because it’s ok.
I’ve heard it from so many people – that they can’t complain about things around us because we’ve had it worse. Bad day at work. Kiddos with a nasty cold. A/C not working. Newspaper thrown in the only puddle at the end of the driveway. I don’t want to ever diminish what is going on in your life. Because it DOES really suck when you go to grab the newspaper and it’s sopping wet. Seriously. I’ve been trying so hard not to say “You think you have it hard? Try lugging your 35 pound kid to the bathroom 3 times an hour.” That’s not fair to you. So remember – it’s ok.
And my last “it’s ok.” It involves something that I know feels like a taboo subject. Feet. Toes. I just want you to know that I slip up, too. The other night I was putting on Dawson’s derma fit. “All right, time to put your foot through.” Ugh. Do you know what Dawson did? He howled with laughter. “Foot? FOOT? I don’t have any feet!!” He thought I was silly for saying it. And maybe that’s all it is – silly. Because he’s HERE.
Today I dropped Wesley off at daycare, and then Dawson off at school and then went to Target. Almost an hour and a half later, David received the following picture via text:
The message? “Happy Birthday to me!”
That trip to Target was the best shopping I have had in 4 months. I wandered. I looked at things 2 or 3 times, trying to decide if I wanted it. But best of all – I DID NOT WORRY. I knew exactly where all my boys were. And I wasn’t worried about how they were doing or feeling. Because I knew that Dawson was happy at school. Wesley was happy at daycare. And David…well, I’m sure he was happy enough at work. (I know I would be!!!)
This is a week late, but thank you all for the birthday wishes. I was pretty focused on other things that day, so it was nice to take the morning to myself this morning. My greatest gift of the day was Dawson having a wonderful, fabulous time his first day of 4K. My second greatest gift this year was the Wisconsin State Journal article running 3 days before my birthday so that it could list my age as 32 rather than 33!